An Outback Outtake: A Quiztale
(Quiz is below this short story…and fun facts)
It was an ordinary morning, but I woke up feeling a bit…bouncy. As the fog of sleep lifted, I realized something was very, very wrong. My hands couldnt reach the snooze button. No feet but—wait a second—giant, springy hind legs.
I was a kangaroo. A mother f***** kangaroo!
In the mirror, I saw a bewildered kangaroo face staring back at me. Not gonna lie, I still looked good, though. I must’ve tripped over a wizard’s curse at some point—one too many late-night infomercials about ‘self-transformation’ maybe?
The first challenge was breakfast. I hopped to the kitchen, literally. Cereal and milk doesn’t seem hard, until you realize kangaroo fingers aren’t quit as nimble as human hands. With frosted flakes on the counter and milk, well, everywhere – I gave up and decided to go for a stroll (or a hop) outside.
Imagine my neighbors’ faces. Mrs. Daniels gasped mid-garden water, spraying her begonias like they were on fire. The Jones kids pointed and laughed. “Look, Mom! A kangaroo!” they hollered. That little brat, Tommy Jones, gave me the finger. I tried to give him the finger back, but once again, my kangaroo paws failed me.
Determined to adapt, I ventured into town. Unfortunately, hopping into my car and driving? Impossible. So, I hopped to the bus stop. There was an awkward moment when the bus driver doubted his eyesight but grudgingly let me on. It may have been because I showed him my new built arms. Kangaroos are jacked and I decided to use it to my advantage and intimidate my way through the day.
In town, I caused quite a stir. Shops were abuzz: “Is this some kind of publicity stunt?” and “Did the zoo lose an exhibit?” At the coffee shop, the barista, wide-eyed, handed me a drink. Holding a coffee cup with kangaroo paws is a balancing act worthy of a circus.
Then came lunchtime. Especially tricky, considering my diet had drastically changed overnight. From burgers and fries to grass and leaves, yum—nutrition on the wild side! I wasn’t the type to even touch a sald before. I considered it a crash course in extreme dieting.
Just when I got the hang of being a kangaroo superstar—kids following, strangers taking selfies, not being able to do lines of cocaine like a lot of superstars because of my little paws, though—I bumped into a street magician performing nearby. I watched in fascination, and wouldn’t you know, he performed a spell to “transform anyone.”
I hopped over, gesturing wildly with my tiny paws. He looked at me skeptically but obliged with some nonsensical words and a swish of his wand. Poof! I was back, human as ever.
As I got back home, human once more, I sighed in relief but also a bit of disappointment. My hands were back to normal, but kangaroos have huge balls. My balls were back to normal and so were my muscles. Jacked no more. I was hoping to keep at least one perk from the experience. I promised myself: no more self-transformation spells or suspicious late-night infomercials. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly.
Maybe.
What Australia animal would you be morphed into based on your personality? Find out with our test!
What Australian Wildlife Creature Are You?
Crikey mate, ever wondered which Aussie critter you’d be in the land down under? Have a go at this quiz to find your spirit animal from the Australian outback!
Fast Facts
Australia is home to some of the most unique and fascinating wildlife in the world and now you can know how your personality matches them.
Here are some trivia facts about native some Australian wildlife:
1. Kangaroos are one of Australia’s most iconic animals, known for their powerful hind legs and ability to hop great distances. They are the largest marsupials on Earth.
2. The koala is another beloved Australian animal known for its cuddly appearance and love of eucalyptus leaves. Despite their name, koalas are not bears but marsupials.
3. The platypus is a truly bizarre creature native to Australia. It is one of only a few mammals that lay eggs instead of giving birth to live young.
4. The Tasmanian devil, found only in Tasmania, is a carnivorous marsupial known for its ferocious temperament and distinctive screeching sound.
5. The emu is the second-largest bird in the world and is native to Australia. They are known for their powerful legs and running speed.
6. The wombat is a cute and quirky marsupial that is known for its burrowing habits and unique backward-facing pouch to protect its young from dirt.
7. The Eastern blue-tongued lizard is a common sight in Australian gardens. These reptiles are known for their distinctive blue tongue, used as a warning display to deter predators.
8. The kookaburra is a large bird known for its distinctive laughing call, which sounds like human laughter. They are often found in eucalyptus forests throughout Australia.
9. The thorny devil is a unique lizard found in the arid regions of Australia. It is covered in spikes and has the ability to change color to blend in with its surroundings.
10. The sugar glider is a small, gliding marsupial known for its ability to glide between trees using a membrane stretched between its wrists and ankles.
These are just a few examples of the incredible and diverse wildlife that call Australia home. Each species has adapted to the unique environment of the continent, resulting in a rich tapestry of flora and fauna unlike anywhere else on Earth.
