Use an edible nest for your Easter eggs this year, not a basket

Edible next
This is more eggciting than a fancy Easter bon-nest

Holy – very holy – crap; Easter is this weekend! Fudge! …. Or semi-sweet chocolate morsels.

Easter is a time for crafts with the kids and dying Easter eggs. Usually you put those eggs in some basket like they were stolen from the mama bird with no remorse. A basket is a commercialized symbol of “the man” that marginalizes the plight of the the bird; mass-produced in some factory that doesn’t care about your eggs or whether they’re organic and non-gmo. (You millenials sold on dumping baskets yet?) Continue reading “Use an edible nest for your Easter eggs this year, not a basket”

The Nightmare Before Easter

Eggs make me sick

One of the scariest days of the year is almost upon us, the day we prepare for by boiling chicken fetuses alive and decorate their corpses’ shells as though they were mere decorations for our amusement, before hiding them from our children and watching them search in absolute futility. The one responsible for this trespassing crime is supposedly a giant, walking, talking rabbit who comes into your house and steals back the eggs while you’re sleeping, scatters them around the house and yard for its own sick pleasure as it watches from behind the bushes while the kids struggle to find them. What a sociopath.

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It’s getting warmer! So make chili?

…but keep the chili
It’s  getting close to my favorite time of year. That time of year where we can trade in our jackets and gloves for tank tops and sandals. Swap our snow shovels for sand shovels on the beach.

 

Soaking in the warmth and laying out in the sun is wonderful which is why I was flabbergasted when my friend told me she would miss the cold weather. Her reasoning? It would be too hot to make her favorite chili recipe.

 



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I got drunk and wrote this: A steak recipe

What do you mean I look drunk?
Club lighting…brought to you by photoshop

I like to cook with wine … sometimes I even put it in the food. Ba-dum-cha! Get it??? No? Well. You don’t have to whiiiine about it. I also like to cook with vodka. Rum. Whatever alcohol is available, really.

The fact is, I’m a bit drunk right now. And I’ve decided (drunkenly) to write articles about random recipes, completely unedited after a night out. Drunk af. It’s OK. I drink enough to make this a regular thing.

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I would do anything for…this Meatloaf

Meatloaf recipe
For crying out loud, you’re going to run toward this meatloaf like a bat out of hell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh I would do anything for love …

I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. OK. Maybe I’ll even do that for this amazing Meatloaf. I’m talking about this recipe, not the artist. I probably should specify.  Meatloaf is great but can he compare to this meatloaf?

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Beyonce’s head turning new diet will have you lose 15 lbs in 7 days

Beyonce eats gelato loving her new diet
Beyonce’s “sugar rush” diet is designed to shock the system into losing weight

You’ve heard of a lot of new diet fads recently, including Keto, where you can eat like a king as long as sugar and carbs aren’t involved. Keto may be for some but one of the biggest stars in the world, Beyonce Knowles, has a sweet tooth! She needs a diet that is quite the opposite.

We have an exclusive interview with world-renowned nutritionist, Daya Bettes, who came up with Beyonce’s diet. Bettes gave us the lowdown on how the pop star is shedding the pounds even at 37 years old.

Continue reading “Beyonce’s head turning new diet will have you lose 15 lbs in 7 days”