Eggplant and peach IRL
Introduce the two on your kitchen table…sanitize well after


Eggplant ? and peach ? emojis are popular. Really popular. Is it from fond memories of bland eggplant parm served up by a lunch lady with a light mustache in middle school? Is it because of the 1995 song ? “Peaches” by alternative rock band, The Presidents of the United States of America ??? The world ? may never know.

One thing we do know is next time you send the ?? emoji and want to Netflix and Chill ?+❄ you may want to serve more than just ? or ? to prove to someone they’re your ride ? or die ☠. That’s why we came up with our devilishly ? good ? and ? recipe. As far as what happens after you eat, don’t worry… ???

P.S. You can watch this recipe get made on Cooking ? with Comedians ?

Before we get to our fried eggplant ? and peach ? salsa ? recipe, in Newdie Mag ? style, let’s first discuss some fun facts about ??

1) According to Emojipedia, as many as 93% of tweets using ? have nothing to do with peaches. Not surprisingly, it is most commonly paired with the ? emoji

2) Eggplant seeds contain nicotine. Don’t worry though, you would have to eat 20 pounds of eggplant to match the amount of nicotine in one cigarette ?. The nicotine in the seeds give them a bitter taste.

3) Originating in China, the peach has special significance in ancient Chinese culture. Peaches are a symbol of immortality ? and unity ?. Brides in China often carry peach blossoms

4) Eggplants grow quickly with high temperatures ? in the summer ☀. They are usually harvested just sixty days after planting.

5) The saying “you’re a peach” came from the tradition of giving a peach to someone you like ?.

6) Eggplant is often substituted for meat in vegetarian dishes ? because of its texture and taste.

7) The average life span of a peach tree ? is 12 years. They are often pruned to a height of 10-12 feet ?.

8) Eggplants aren’t vegetables. They are a fruit and belong to the nightshade ? family, like tomatoes ?. Botanically they are classified as a berry.

9) The peach is also known as the Persian apple ?.

Fried eggplant ? and peach salsa ?? recipe:

Fried eggplant:

1 eggplant, sliced, 1/2 rounds, leaving skin on

2 eggs ?

2 cups Italian breadcrumbs ?

1⁄4 cup parmesan cheese ?

1⁄4 cup dried parsley

1 tablespoon garlic powder

Salt and pepper, to taste ?

2 cups vegetable oil

1) Spread eggplant slices on paper towels and sprinkle generously with salt. Let sit for one hour so that eggplant “sweats out” any bitterness ?. Pat ? dry. Prepare salsa ? while eggplant sweats out.

2) In a small bowl, beat ? the eggs. In a separate bowl, mix breadcrumbs ?, parmesan ?, parsley, and garlic. Dredge each slice of eggplant in egg mixture coating ? it thoroughly, then in the breadcrumb mixture, pressing to help them stick. Let coated ? eggplant sit for 10 minutes.

3) Heat oil in skillet ? to 375 degrees. Fry the eggplant slices for 1 minute on each side, or until golden brown. Transfer to paper towel-lined baking sheet. Top with peach salsa and serve.

Peach salsa:

3 large peaches, seeded, peeled and diced

2 small tomatoes ?, diced

1 medium jalapeno ?, seeded and diced

1 cup diced red onion

1/2 cup loosely packed chopped fresh cilantro

Juice from 1 lime

Salt and pepper, to taste ?


1) In a large bowl ?, combine all ingredients and stir until mixed well. Chill ❄ while completing fried eggplant ?.

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