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Taking Stock Of My Life: A Quiztale

(Quiz below this short story)

There I was…perma-grinned and awkwardly holding a coffee mug in the middle of a pristine open-plan office, forever cemented in the twilight zone known as stock photography. Life was… complicated.

It all began when I signed up for what I thought was a harmless photoshoot to make some extra cash. “Be the face of marketing materials around the world!” they said. What they failed to mention was the part about being trapped in digital limbo, smiling like a maniac.

In my new existence, I could be found in all sorts of bizarre scenarios. One day, I was in an artfully disheveled kitchen, pretending to enjoy a perilously stacked sandwich. The sandwich and I had a tenuous relationship. It defied gravity, and I defied logic – staring at it in wonder with a dazzle that’s only appropriate for winning a lottery.

Another day, I was inexplicably holding a rubber duck while standing in a dewy field of lavender. The duck and I had meaningful “eye”-to-mind conversations; I named him Quackster since we saw each other so often. If ducks could wink, Quackster would surely wink back.

Office life was a peculiar brand of crazy. In one picture, I flung my arms into the air in front of my “team,” who were equally enthusiastic about an empty whiteboard titled “Q3 Synergy Strategies.” Fun fact: Nobody ever filled in that whiteboard. Sometimes I imagined scribbling on it: “HELP, I’M STUCK IN HERE!” Instead, I just gave a hearty thumbs up to everyone else in the office to fit in. The thumbs up was the only form of communication in the office.

Occasionally, I snuck into more glamourous settings. One time, I “attended” a lavish New Year’s Eve party, clasping a glass of sparkling juice and looking as though 2023 would be my year. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t. The glamour quickly wore off when I realized I was inches away from an endless buffet that I could never taste. Torture, thy name is pixelated canapés!

After countless poses – and several introspective discussions with Quackster and the sandwich – I accepted my fate. I was the evergreen employee, endless partygoer, duck-in-the-lavender-with-no-backstory guy. Nevertheless, I owned it.

The only question is – what about you? What stock photo do you belong in for all of eternity? Take our photographer approved personality test to find out!

What cheesy stock photo person are you?

Ever wondered which cliche from the world of stock photography you embody? Are you the over-enthusiastic thumbs-up giver or the unnaturally diverse group of friends laughing over salad? Take this quiz to find out!

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Can’t get enough laughs? …with your salad? Lucky for you, we tossed up our Top 10 Favorite Salad Jokes and have them for you right here (no dressing on the side though)! So have those pearly whites contrast with the green hues of a fresh, crunchy, on film as you giggle, chuckle, and howl your way through your life stuck in stock.

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