I had quite a bit of ingredients left over from my last attempt at cooking meatloaf, enough to try a second dish. I decided to cook scrambled eggs. I also decided to do it without a recipe, because it should be fairly easy. There are a couple things I know about scrambled eggs. You want to cook them over a low heat and you can pretty much throw whatever the hell you want in them, as long as they turn out edible, I assume.

– Step 1 (that I just made up):
Crack eggs into bowl and add seasoning.
This egg is cracked up
Hahahaha. Hahaha. Haha.

One thing I don’t know: how to crack eggs. I was really terrible at this. After fishing some shells out of the bowl and cleaning up spilled egg, I was ready to add some seasoning. I’ve got cayenne pepper, white pepper and salt. I added a dash or two of each. A dash is the technical cooking term for “I have no idea how much to add.”


– Step 2 (made up af):

Whisk it all together.

Why is the pepper clumping together??? Why????

– Step 3 (sounds right):

Melt half a stick of butter in a pan.

I can melt butter (bows).

– Step 4 (the money shot):

Add egg mixture into melted butter and mash it around over low heat.

“Mash it around” is another technical term. It’s not stirring. It’s smacking those eggs into shape and making sure they don’t stick to the pan. You are their drill sergeant. Make those eggs your b**** (buddy).

– Step 5 (yummy):

Throw on a liberal amount of cheese and enjoy.

I also add ketchup and Tabasco to my eggs. What do you think of ketchup on eggs? Let me know in the comments.

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