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Count Spatula has broken into Newdie Mag’s Haunted Kitchen and is making MONSTER sliders. These sliders are so monstrous and huge that they’re…well…they’re hamburgers.

Count Spatula likes his sliders rare, very rare. Making them to Count Spatulas liking may not be for you though. Instead we crafted this recipe to make an incredibly juicy and tasty burger without you having to suck the blood out like Count Spatula.


2 pounds ground beef
1 egg, beaten
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs
3 tablespoons evaporated milk
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced

Sliced tomatoes
Mustard ketchup and mayo

Guacamole (to give it a green monster look):

2 ripe avocados
1/4 cup cherry tomatoes, chopped
1 jalapeño, minced
Juice of 1 lime

Directions for guacamole:

1) In a large bowl, mash avocados. Add tomatoes, jalapeños, and lime juice and season with salt.

Directions for burgers:

1) Preheat grill for high heat.

2) In a large bowl, mix the ground beef, egg, bread crumbs, evaporated milk, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, and garlic using your hands. Form the mixture into 8 hamburger patties.

3) Lightly oil the grill. Grill patties about 4 minutes per side

4) Assemble on buns and add toppings.

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