We all love the meme that salad is telling jokes. In honor of the dish that makes all the stock photo people crack up here are our top 10 Salad and Veggie Jokes (drum roll please):
10) What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad?
Have a heart.
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. In this case, someone’s junk food is another man’s Tuesday night dinner, and Wednesday night, and Thursday night… and so on. Let’s face it: “junk” food is delicious. It can be sweet, it can be greasy, it can be wonderful, it can cause heartburn (just like my ex). Whether it’s pizza after a drunken night on the town (sign me up!) or a bag of chips after an exhausting day of work, it can really hit the spot. A doughnut in the morning can get me going and a burger at night is great (or vice versa, I don’t judge).
His name was Tommy, and he was ready to fulfill his duty as an officer of a the Red Pulp Army. He was ripe for the good fight, he was eager to prove his worth to his people, and he had just cut his stem into a trendy fringe.
Tommy glanced at the mirror one last time, his innocence lingering as though it were the only thing keeping him from stepping forth into his destiny.
Kiwifuits are a super fruit (only kryptonite can kill them?) that contain 3 times the vitamin c as an orange. (Take that oranges!) Kiwifruit can also help you fall asleep (so can ambien, just don’t pull a Roseanne) eating two kiwifruits an hour before bed can help you fall asleep quicker and wake up better rested. (There goes my excuse to cranky) Continue reading Kiwi Tart
Eggplant ? and peach ? emojis are popular. Really popular. Is it from fond memories of bland eggplant parm served up by a lunch lady with a light mustache in middle school? Is it because of the 1995 song ? “Peaches” by alternative rock band, The Presidents of the United States of America ??? The world ? may never know. Continue reading Eggplant and Peach IRL – The Recipe
1) Red Bell peppers are just green bell peppers that have been to the vine longer and ripened. They have a sweeter taste. (Sweeeeeet) Continue reading Stuffed Bell Peppers
Pop it. Shake it. Pop it. Shake it. (No, we are not talking about your butt)
These easy popcorn recipes all have the same method. Just take a bag of microwaved popcorn and empty into a large resealable bag. Mix ingredients in a small bowl. Add ingredients and shake! (Shake your popcorn, shake your head, shake your booty. Have fun with it!) Continue reading Pop and Shake Popcorn recipes
I had quite a bit of ingredients left over from my last attempt at cooking meatloaf, enough to try a second dish. I decided to cook scrambled eggs. I also decided to do it without a recipe, because it should be fairly easy. There are a couple things I know about scrambled eggs. You want to cook them over a low heat and you can pretty much throw whatever the hell you want in them, as long as they turn out edible, I assume.
It finally happened. On a rainy summer morning, as I rummaged through my purse looking for a headband to tame my locks made curly by the outside curse of humidity, my coffee barista object of primal infatuation locked eyes with me for more than the casual two seconds allotted to strangers who seem mildly attractive. Two became three, then five, and his eyes stayed lingering on my own for more than six seconds of crush eternity.